Weird Thankfulness

I'm pretty thankful for my blatantly sinful past, and I'm pretty thankful for the "good life" I had (by the world's standards) when I was rescued by Jesus Christ. I know that sounds weird. That's probably because I'm a little weird. But allow me to explain.

I'm thankful for my blatantly sinful past, because it allows for a grand marker to be placed right in the middle of my life. If you drew my life out on a timeline, the first part would be labelled the hell bound old man and the second part would be labelled the heaven bound new man. I do not remember the date I cried out to Jesus Christ to save me, but I remember the day. I remember that before that day that I wanted to just fill my life with more pornography (the kind that makes Playboy look like the Conservative Amish Dress Catalog) and Mario Kart (5 hours a day at times) and was proud of all the time and money I was able to waste on absolutely nothing. I remember that after that day I wanted to just know about God more and more, and then I wanted to serve God more and more, and I'm in the spot where I want to know God more and more. I can without a doubt say that I was born again of the Spirit of God and am a new creation.

What could my life have looked like if I had been going to church since I was much younger? I might learn "moral deism" -- I'd know all the "right stuff" and stay away from the "bad stuff" and think I'm saved. I would learn how to speak "Christianese" and do the "Christian church stuff" and think I'm so awesome. How terrible! I would then unwittingly put salvation in my own hands and crap on the cross of Christ. I'm not saying that happens to everyone, but it happens to a lot of people -- people who may have good doctrine, may look like they live moral lives, may memorize a ton of scripture, may go to the Bible study, and so on -- but have no clue about the amazing grace of the gospel. I pass no judgment on the poor man or woman in this situation -- I say it so that you may check yourself and see if that's you. If it is, get out and run straight for the cross! The truth is, we're all a mess, even if we don't see it.

I'm also thankful for the "good life" I had (by the world's standards), because it took away my excuse for turning away when things "got better". Let's say I was in serious debt, or had lost my job, or my kid died, or some other terrible thing happened to me that I needed God to help me with. Say he did and I threw up a "yay God!" I might follow God for a while, sort of, doing the "Christianese" thing, and then fall away. Why? Because I might care more about the temporal gift than the eternal gift. I'd be happy God saved me from my debt, or got me a job, or eased my pain -- but I'd fail to realize what I really needed him to save me from was my sin. The fact that I had it "good" by the world's standards left no opportunity for that -- Jesus came in and ripped me away from sin and from sin alone.

Don't get me wrong on these. God works in amazing and different ways in everyone's life. Someone else could easily be in my "what if" and come out just fine in Christ, with their own marker standing on something I have just put to the side. Praise God for that! Being able to look at my incredible brokenness and lack of worldly need work well for me to mark the time of my transformation -- your story may be very different.