Monday, October 31, 2011

Hoarder

Ever see that show Hoarders? It's quite the look into the lives of people with great unhealthy attachments to things and trying to break them away from it and get their homes or property cleaned up. There was a burst of time in my life when I watched it a lot, and in that time I saw episodes about people completely attached to animals, collections, projects, day to day things, food, and even complete junk and trash. Cleaning crews, psychologists, and "professional organizers" were brought in to help with the situations. Some of the time there was success in cleaning up a home or property, but despite that, more often than not, the deeper issue of attachment remained unsolved.

With the light and knowledge I have graciously received in my life, I couldn't help but think when watching "All your prattle and rationalization amounts to nothing -- these people are, almost certainly unknowingly, trying to get their fulfillment, or their hope, or their security, or whatever else, from the wrong source. What they need is the power of Jesus Christ to break them away from idolatry and sin and give them a new life."

That is, after all, what he did for me in my own life. I was seeking fulfillment from all kinds of things, trying to fill a hole in my heart that only God could fill. I just didn't know it until he broke into my life, showed me my sin, and ripped me away from myself -- granting me repentance and faith in Jesus Christ. Praise God for that!

Now what about the sin in my life and how it relates to the topic? There were definitely attachments associated with that sin, but was I a hoarder? Let's look.

One of the sins of my past that totally wrecked my head was adultery. I've cheated on my wife countless times with countless women through the magic of the Internet and my own jacked up imagination. But not only did I do that, I collected them. I had the modern day equivalent of the stack of Playboys on my hard drive -- except I could fit a whole lot more of a whole lot worse on there. Before I was really born again, I believed in God and would try to make deals with him. "I'll delete all this if you do that. I won't get any more, I promise." Yeah, that lasted about what, 2 seconds? The Jesus hole was still in my heart, and my efforts were my own and with wrong motive. So of course I was bound to fail and fail back into hoarding porn. One tick mark for "hoarder".

Aside from being an adulterer, I was also a thief. Do you know how many pirated programs and songs I had on my computer? I don't either, but it was a LOT. Did I try to rationalize it? Absolutely not. I knew it was stealing and I was proud of it. Crap I didn't even use or listen to. It looks like that was hoarding too. Two more tick marks for "hoarder" -- one for the software and one for the music.

That's three strikes already. I'd have to say based on the evidence that I was definitely a hoarder.

Does it matter to identify the old man like that? Probably not. I just think it's interesting that in my old nature I had the same mentality about digital things that the people on this show had about physical things. Looking on the outside in, no would would peg me as a hoarder, because the outward appearance wasn't there, but the internal thought processes and attachments were the same.

I also find it interesting that, in either case, the outward signs of such a mentality are pointers to a deeper problem that plagues all men -- our sinful nature. That kind of deeper problem cannot be solved by man. It can be ignored, excused, or rationalized, so that a person "feels better" about being broken. However, a real solution can only come from God through repentance and faith in his Son, Jesus Christ.

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